Porn largely does objectify women. That is the consequence of porn. Porn is an industry. It’s about making money. It is a means to an end. Porn does not equal sex, especially the real sex that happens between two loving people in a relationship. There are some major leaps of logic to assume that:

1. Men watch porn.
2. There are facials in porn.
Conclusion: All men who want to give facials are objectifying/disrespecting/abusing women.

I’m sure there are some guys out there who get off on giving a facial without their girl’s pleasure. They don’t care if she finds the facial repulsive; they just want to get off. I don’t know how they do it. But it’s a pretty big generalization by ANYBODY to assume that the facial is always going to be negative in context. Maybe blowjobs are demeaning, maybe anal is demeaning, maybe BDSM is demeaning. Personally, I do not think anything is demeaning as long as both partners are into it, and if the sex is MUTUAL.

I also think it’s pretty shady and lame when people say things like:
“no girl really enjoys giving a facial.”
or
“girls that give facials have some deeply rooted psychological problem”

Who is anybody to say what someone enjoys? This is feminist propaganda. And I can’t stand when lame psychobabble is used to propel this argument that “if you enjoy getting a facial you have something psychologically wrong with you.” Are we going to add facials to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders? If we do we better add BDSM, and role playing, and all the other things that are not intercourse.

Here’s progressive thinking. Some girls are turned on by erotica. Some girls are turned on by porn. Some girls are turned on by facials. Some girls might even GET OFF when they receive a facial.

My cliché and final thought is this: do what you enjoy, not what you are told to enjoy. Sex is an adventure. Good sex (and relationships) are all about trying new things, exploring new territory, and pleasing each other. Don’t get hung up on feminist critique. If you and your partner are both into facials, GO FOR IT. If you aren’t, then DON’T DO IT. There are a bajillion other things you can do in the bedroom. It’s really not a big deal.

(By the way, I also want to echo T’s thoughts; please don’t “accidentally” give a girl a facial. Talk to her about it before hand. Show her a more feminist-driven porn movie with a cumshot/facial. See if the notion of you orgasming has high appeal to her. Then talk about facials. Man up; the best relationships are the OPEN ones.)

Mike’s Girl said…

No working link to the previous site’s comments, so I’ll just add mine here.

I’ve always been baffled by the money shots in porn — it’s so much sexier to me for the guy to come IN the woman… I’ve always figured they wanted to “prove” the guy came… (Or encourage the viewer to join in?)

The idea that guys like to see their fluids splashed all over a women is also baffling — but then lots about what men like is baffling. Each to his or her own.

3:50 PM

observer said…

Coming late to this discussion, as it were. Curiously appropriate, but that’s another long story.

At one time I had an incredibly sexy girlfriend. We were fascinated by each other. She is still a highly intelligent, ambitious and adventurous person who went on after our thing to have a career and a family and stuff and junk. She was an honor student, and an explorer of the erotic experience.

On more than one occasion, in the throes of passion, she said, “come on my face!”

Even by invitation, I couldn’t. I never wanted any sexual experience in which the partners were not clearly equal and directed toward each other’s mutual pleasure. Once a woman knelt in front of me when we were showering together. She was an extraordinarily accomplished fellationist, but I couldn’t handle the subservience of her position.

I, too am depressed and left wanting by the stereotypical and degrading images in the vast majority of what purports to be erotic. But what is truly special might become mundane if it was not so rare. The truly great moments of shared pleasure need to be built. That takes time. Mass-produced stereotypical images are “quick and dirty.” Suits modern society’s, particularly America’s, increasing ADD.

8:28 AM

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12:30 PM

Scribe Called Steff said…

THANK YOU, Guys!!! :)

Thanks for your comments.

I don’t really relate to the ownership thing though… but perhaps on a subconscious level I “let” super hot guys own me and really they can do WHATEVER they want with me… since I so rarely get this certain type that I like. (When i say “hot” I am refering to a very specific kind of guy - not just standard “hot” - I have gotten 5 from age 16 to 26).

But there has been a comrpomise. Once giving me a blowjob she rubbed my cock over her face, slowly, just touching the cheeks and rolled the head over the chin. This occured out of the blue, and somehow I found that this satisfied the very same sexual desire of marking ownership, or whatever it is that lurks in the subconscious. I became incredibly aroused and came mere seconds after she resumed the main course.

We talked about it later that night and I told her how incredibly arousing it were what she did and she said “it felt sexy for her too”.

So, anyway, my point above was that it doesn’t actually have to be about cum, at least for me. I’m really happy that I found some comfortable way to reduce that tension, something that we both at least can agree with.

http://planetsex.blogspot.com/2005/12/hot-white-cum-by-liz-phair.html

Have a read and tell me what do u think :)

I’m a feminist too, in the I-love-men kind of feminists. Yes, porn can be insulting and degrading, and women tend to be objectified. That said, when I’m hooking up with a guy, it is because I respect him and I know he respects me. So, why should I bring what the group of morons-who-use-women think into my bedroom? He’ll probably have my cum all over his face after oral, so why should I feel inferior by having his?

Cum is a fascinating subject. It conveys the power to fertilize if it comes from the male’s cock and the power to accommodate if it comes through the female’s cunt. Basically it has a distinct purpose attached to procreation but it also carries within it the seeds of death and decay.

In the era of STD’s with the killer AIDS toppling all other blood based diseases, cum is a sticky subject between non-monogamous couples. So I can see how you would see the indiscrete release of male ejaculate within the context of casual sexual encounters as a boundary violation at best and an ill-advised health risk in general.

Porn hasn’t helped with its concentration on the “money” shot and ram rod rutters who can come on cue (sorry about the alliteration it just came out – hope your scribal boundaries are not violated).

So the male ejaculate comes with a mixed blessing – to convey life it must be deposited not spent on the side of the road or face as it were. To introduce the possibility of disease it must find its mark in a vulnerable opening anywhere on the body which would make the facial splatter a public health crisis as much as a sexual domination event (I know I repeat myself but what is the good of a couplet if it can’t be used in a literary context like your Blog against Face Blasting).

I have had limited experience with letting my seed spew out on the submissive forms that lie beneath me. By and large I prefer to spew on myself and leave a deposit inside where it is warm the rest of the time. Occasionally when I am unable to cum the old fashion way from rutting and penile branding of the vaginal sheath, my lover will encourage me to masturbate on her body. Can’t say this does much for me however. I typically feel like a frigid failure who is reduced to hand pump performance with an audience that wants to roll over and go to sleep.

I did have a Jewish lover who wanted me to cum on her face, cum in her mouth, penetrate her virgin anus and share fantasies of orgasmic sexual unions with tall dark and well endowed men in contrast to my Goyem, WASPish timidity and quite average endowment. The relationship didn’t last. I became her sexual object, boy toy, in the flesh vibrator. She was, however, one of the most incredibly sexual people I have every known and to this day miss her appetites if not her object lessons with my dick in her hand.

So I guess there is no real conclusion here – for you and others a facial is just another way of men saying, I complete you or take this spew and love it. For male porn stars, it’s the way to keep the paychecks coming, and for some women it is a way to transit from female sexual expectations to the world of males and sexual dominance which to my way of thinking is really a transgendered domain.