Masturbation DOES help women, period. Apparently 10% of women will never orgasm. The question is, are they doing it right? Most women will tell you their sex lives improved when they learned to satisfy themselves. Lovers will say the women improve as they get more open about masturbating. Women are wired differently than men. It’s inarguable. I’m gonna try to do something on the psychology of sex with women at some point, but it’s gonna take some research. You might find that one interesting. Guess you’ll have to stay tuned.

Jazz — Yes, let’s be lovers! Lovers = good!

Anon — Silly guy, yes. It’s a self-discovery thing. When will people figure out that every genital is like a fingerprint — comes with its own uniqueness. thank GOD it’s not one-size fits all, but why the hell isn’t there a label that says so? Geez.

Anon 2 — AWESOME. Good for you! Stepping outside your boundaries can be SO rewarding! It’s about learning to let go. With the abandon comes reward. Simple. GOOD FOR YOU. (And GREAT for your husband, it sounds like!)

Virgin — Takes all kinds. :)

Fig & Strip — Thanks guys. Great comments, both of you, and good question, Fig. I think the word “partner” is very loosely used in that context. Poor Elders, Strip. :)

Laura — Women deprive themselves too much, put everyone before themselves, and are willing to sacrifice happiness if it just makes things easier, and it’s all bullshit. We put so much grief on ourselves because of ASSUMPTIONS about what’s gonna hurt someone’s feelings. Saying NO is just a word. Saying MORE is just a word. Saying OW is just a word. And what better time to kiss it all better, if you do hurt someone?

Holy incongruity, batman. Yeesh.

__________________________

What a week. I need to kill the writing a bit. My week’s really been full and I’ve been writing on top of an already insane schedule, while fitting in photography, cycling, and living, too. This is one of those, “Why do I hit keep hitting myself on the head with a hammer? -Because it feels sooooo good when I stop,” kind of weeks. It stops Monday. I just need to make it to then.

Oh, Lordy, send me endurance! Lots of it! Bedtime. Nighty-night-night, kids.

Then it occurred to me, that he did indeed go on and on and there I was, capable of taking advantage of the drunk and he wouldn’t even know. So I took the bull by the horn surprised the heck out of myself and was very demanding. The next morning he was wondering if he remembered right. I pleaded innocent but every night he came home from entertaining, he had less and less to drink because he wanted to be aware of what was happening at home. That was the beginning of us both knowing what we wanted and knowing how to ask.

Aaaahhh… Trolls just slay me.

I agree with it all. It’s our job to figure out what we like (both men and woman) and then to find out what our partner likes. Nothing else works.

D.

it takes two. a good woman will make a man bring out his “A game” and vice versa…

let’s all be lovers, okay?

And I’m not an expert on female masturbation… But for men, I don’t think masturbation is doing anything to make us better lovers. I think a lot of men are all “practiced” out, but keep doing it to their hearts content. So not all men are doing it.

But you know what? I think A LOT OF WOMEN ARE TO BLAME FOR BAD SEX.

Yes, I do.

If a woman’s gonna lie there like a dead fish and not get involved, then piss and moan about her man not doing anything to get her off, then she DESERVES THE SEX SHE’S HAVING.

Period.

Sex should take equal work from both partners. If it’s the straight ol’ missionary and he’s doing the thrusting, well, she can do things to make it interesting with her hands, his ass, tightening and releasing her vaginal muscles in rhythm with the thrusts, whatever.

Lazy sex, on either part, is a frickin’ joke.

I totally agree that it’s not just men being bad lovers, and that it CANNOT BE ENTIRELY ON THE MAN.

I know I sure as shit pay the rent in my sexual encounters, and I would expect that, for anyone with a good sex life, they do, as well.

I think I should rant at women now, just even up the score.

That guy pissed me off, and some of that crap had to be said. As much as you might be a wonderful loverman, and I know I’ve had the fortune to be with a few in my time, there are a lot of guys who really do just the bare minimum and don’t know their shit.

Each sex needs to learn about the other’s anatomy. That’s more true with the female anatomy, since it’s somewhat complicated, but chicks need to learn about what kind of pressure guys can handle on what parts, etc.

Anyhow, trust me when I say this: I know there are a hell of a lot of women out there that give us DILIGENT lovers a bad name. And they PISS ME OFF, too. :)

(And I’m gonna tell ‘em so in the next week or two. Stay tuned for that.)

Firstly, women, masterbate to your hearts content. Seriously. Fuck your goddam brains out, and if you can still somehow find time to get to work and pay your rent… bonus.

I’m sure this guy hit a nerve, and maybe there are more of these guys out there than I would ever imagine, but this sounds way too much like a male bashing rant. As far as i’m concerned you should never let another person tell you what you can or can’t do. I’m sorry but it’s a little ridiculous. Also, if you’re with a person thats not stepping up in the bedroom speak up, if you don’t try and work it out than you can’t really complain. If you do mention something with no results, take off, cause nothing is better than great sex, but everything is better than bad sex.

you really can’t judge though, cause if thats the weak ass sex some guys want to have, they deserve to have it. them along with all the women who want it. which is great cause it saves the rest of us from the trauma.

Great post on a very important topic