Comments on: Etiquette for Restaurants: Part 2

By: A Scribe Called Steff

A Scribe Called Steff — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:42:45 +0000

COMMENTS FROM WHEN I REPOSTED THIS:

1. aloofman
Posted December 10, 2006 at 11:40 pm | Permalink | Edit

Re calling her later, I have what I think is a fairly foolproof method: I ask her when I should call. This way she knows when to expect it and doesn’t have to worry about it before that. She can also base her answer on when she’ll be home and available, which of course is based on whether she actually wants to speak to me again or not. If she doesn’t, she can pick a time when she won’t be home, or at least a time when she’ll know not to answer the phone.

While it would make loads of sense if people avoid the coward’s route and never return a call, I’m not naive enough to expect that. Women complain that men never call when they say they will? I say women never call back. Life goes on.

2. Brian
Posted April 16, 2008 at 11:04 pm | Permalink | Edit

My Dad always said, manners cost nothing but can reap big rewards.

Happy to know I know all this already. Exceptions\differences being :
Ordering for her is tough as wait staff just prompt straight at the lady before even giving you a chance. I think a lot of modern girls might find it kind of patronising too.
Car etiquette, I would walk round to her side and open the door for her, not from the inside.
At the end of the evening I wouldn’t wait in my car until she got in, I would walk her to her door. It also gives me a chance to steal a kiss, if I think she is willing. Exceptions being the realities of parking issues, then I would wait until she got in.

Stuff like this really needs to be taught in schools. It would only take a few hours of deportment classes.

Love the blog only recently discovered it. Keep up the good work.

Brian

By: Philosophizer

Philosophizer — Sun, 14 May 2006 01:11:00 +0000

Getting in late here, but where does your napkin go when you get up? When you’re done and leaving at the end of the meal? To me the answers are in your chair and on the table (on the used plate if it’s still there and it’s a paper napkin, because that’s just polite to your server to not make them collect all your junk strewn across the table), but I now live in fear of being rude.

By: Mad Coyote

Mad Coyote — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 08:00:00 +0000

I don't know that my date necessarily noticed the napkin thing (perhaps she would have noticed if I hadn't...)- but I did notice that every man over 35 was doing the same thing I was. So either you have a LOT of readers who are local, or these men were brought up to act pretty much the way you've suggested.

Makes me glad I listen to you.

Also, called her tonight to thank her for the previous night- she seemed surprised at first, then really pleased that I called. We're now both looking forward to hooking up again next weekend.

Again, makes me glad I listen to you.

Thanks Steff!

By: SemperSexualis

SemperSexualis — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 12:52:00 +0000

Actually, i was just thinking the unlocking of the other door thing… especially with power locks these days… it’s not so much a “you don’t have to do it” thing, in my opinion as common courtesy at this point. Most ESPECIALLY if he goes through the trouble of opening the door for you already. Then, it’s NOT just optional… unless of course you have to do the long reach and can’t. But the effort should be there. Men clearly aren’t the only ones that need help here….

By: Colette

Colette — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 06:22:00 +0000

I also think it’s really great when he makes reservations. It’s kind of a common sense thing, but so often ignored.
Even if there wouldn’t be a wait anyway, it’s cool to be able to go into a resturant and have a table waiting.

By: The Emissary of the Twin Arts

The Emissary of the Twin Arts — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 04:21:00 +0000

This is all great stuff. Seriously, this should be a talk that every parent has with their children.

I've never dated. Okay, that's not exactly true. Once, in high school, I was randomly asked to the prom by a chick I'd never met before. We had one date, then her mother insisted she never talk to me again because I wasn't a good christian.

Less than a month later, she ended up pregnant by someone else. True story.

It just strikes me as odd how most of these tips boil down to "don't be a jerk". The level of disrespect that people are willing to tolerate baffles me. My friends are almost exclusively female, and I just don't understand why they put up with the various jerks that walk into their lives.

Ladies, please raise your standards a little. Give the men around you a chance to rise to the challenge.

By: Mad Coyote

Mad Coyote — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:06:00 +0000

Thanks Steff!!! Gotta rush out to my date, but I’ll let you know how it all worked!!!

By: scribe called steff

scribe called steff — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 23:04:00 +0000

By the way, guys, about the calling-after-dates thing? Honestly, in my world, the sooner the better. I’d rather know I’m looking forwards to seeing you in a week than waiting a week to find out I might see you in a day, you know?

Give the gift of anticipation, the gift that keeps on givin’.

By: scribe called steff

scribe called steff — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 22:53:00 +0000

Beth — Thanks. I’m beginning to turn the corner. I think it might be all systems go for my date sunday. Let’s hope. Had to cancel work today, but I’m glad I did — I felt overwhelmed and napped for an hour or two around lunch. Good thing. :)

GUYS — I’m with you guys, it’s better to just pay for it. Personally, I kind of expect the guy to pay but I’m always happy to have him over for dinner soon after, if it’s worth doing twice.

Paying dutch always feels sort of strange to me, but I can understand it, and I don’t think I’m entitled to a free meal, but… yeah. Weird, hey? Such a strange issue. Guidelines need to be laid out, though.

But yeah, if the guy asks her out, I think he should pay. Just makes sense.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 22:49:00 +0000

Right on, misters! It's just always a good idea for the guy to pay on the first date. Sets a nice tone. I dated a guy once who paid on the first date, and at the end of our second date, let me put my credit card down, then handed it back to me and put down his and said, "I just can't let you do it." Nice gesture. I didn't feel like he was trying to lord his high salary over me, just that in his world, men pay on dates.

But like Steff said, beware the woman who never even offers. And let her buy stuff like coffee or movie tickets once in a while.

Steff, another knock-out post. You will single-handedly be responsible for many, many improved dates. Good for you. Hope you're feeling better.