I don’t have the time to write. A busy day lies ahead. But I’ll never have this moment again, and I don’t wish to see it pass me by. So, I’ll use my time-bending skills and stop my world ever so briefly to share this moment with you.

I feel powerful. Unstoppable. I feel like everything is about to come my way. I don’t know that I have any evidence of that. In fact, it’s probably evidence of the opposite, if I had a negative mindset. Someone backed over my scooter last night and fucked some of it up. I could focus on that, if I wanted to. Instead, I’m choosing to embrace how fortunate and lucky I am that the man was honest and sought me out in the store I was in, and grateful that the young homeless man by my scooter took notice of me and helped the car driver find me. Good begets good, and I know I’ve sown my karma over the years. Perhaps the reaping has begun.

And I’m excited that I have a job interview tonight, some celebrating with people I care about this weekend, a date on Sunday, and a breakfast with someone I cared a great deal for in my youth on Monday. I feel like life’s turning the page on what was, without a doubt, the hardest, most gruelling year of my life — surpassing even that of the year my mother passed away.

You may not know it, but I have been without secure employment since June of 2005. Through all that has come my way, I’ve managed to make ends meet month after month, trial after trial. I came within days of losing my home this year, but I overcame that and all that followed. And now I feel invulnerable. Now I know how strong I can be, how resourceful I am. I feel I’m equipped to tackle the next forty years of my life.

And I cannot wait. Bring it, baby. I’m so on, so ready. My new life has already begun, but the rewards have yet to tumble in. But they will. Without a doubt, they will.

I’m a student of life, of the world, of you, of me, of time, of places. Of anything I want to be. And I’m grateful for every lesson I have learned these past 27 months — because learn is exactly what I have done. (The nine months preceding my loss of work in 2005 and the journey I’ve been on since includes when I nearly died from a motorbike accident and spent months recovering my post-concussive mental faculties and overcoming my bodily injuries. That, too, was a hard journey.)

I may not get this job tonight. And that would be all right. If there’s anything I no longer have, it’s fear. I feel like life can throw nearly anything my way, and I’ll stand victorious at the end of it. I am Steff the Conqueror!

But I’m not exceptional. More people than me have gone through adversity and come through it triumphantly. The only exception is that I’ve been openly documenting it all for you. If I had to pinpoint, though, the most important lesson I’ve learned, I would have to say “smallness.”

I’m aware of how small my place in this world has been. I’ve always known that. I’m aware also of how little a fraction of my life these times of woe really possess. I once thought that knowing that made me more able to deal with hardship, but I was looking at it wrong. I was demeaning my time here on this planet instead of celebrating it. Instead of saying, “Oh, 20 years from now this’ll seem like a blip on the landscape of my life”, I’ve been acknowledging how much power I have right now to shape and change the person I am into the person I want to be. I’m aware that the brief moments in time I have present me with the opportunity to drastically alter my future.

We belittle our present time by thinking it’s a blip on the radar screen of our lives. Sure, you can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better. But owning it and saying that this is the moment, this fraction of time, that is going to profoundly bring you closer to who you are, why, that’s some powerful stuff. It may pass by quickly, but its impact can stay with you for the remainder of your life. What would you like that impact to be?

I’ve known since June of this year that this would be the year that defines the rest of my life. I don’t have proof yet of that, but I know it deep into my core that, yes, this is the time that I am becoming more myself than I’ve ever been. I am grateful for every bit of adversity I’ve faced this year, and proud of my achievements. I’m not done yet, not by a long shot, but I’ve got a greater sense of what my challenges are than I’ve ever had, and I’m up to them like I’ve never before been.

You’re the one who assigns value to your life. Your experiences mean nothing to anyone else. Your growth means nothing to anyone else. But who you are, that means everything. By choosing to value your hardships and growing in spite of them, others will see you as a different person. That’ll mean more in your relationships than you can ever know. But mostly, it’ll make that proverbial love affair with self a much more fulfilling experience.

My all-time favourite quote is Oscar Wilde, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

And, believe me, baby, I’m head over heels today.