Thank you, for giving voice to The Singular Singleness of being Single!

Great post, for Sugasm.
You got my vote.

~x~Will.

this is a great post especially for those that have the odd lonely day.

thanks

Thanks for your writing.

I think it’s impossible to not feel that way sometimes. CJ’s clearly breathing rare air.

CJ– You’re breathing rare air, or else you’re under 25. The older you get, the more you’re bombarded with this shit. Moments happen, days, and weeks, and even months where you can totally operate on a “I’m alone too often” mentality.

I think your comment is a little naive and is spoken by someone that doesn’t understand what being “alone” on a longterm basis feels like when you’re actually LIVING alone and live the standard “go to work, get tired, come home, chill, rinse, and repeat” life that gets doled out to all of us when we hit 30-or-so.

Or maybe you’re just a special, impermeable, new, improved genetic creation, in which case, yes, good for you. :)

By the way, since most readers around these part seem kind new these days, it’s good to note I’ve written on all these topics dozens and dozens of times from different perspectives, in the more-than-1,000 posts I’ve accrued, so. I’ve tackled the “every living person dies alone” perspective of being in a relationship, and will definitely do so again… it’s really important and will never tire in being repeated.

Anon2 — Yeah, I agree, I don’t go for long periods of feeling “lonely” or needy, and I suspect it’s more often that I’m finding an itch that needs scratching, and not so much that I want to start alotting 25% of my life (or more, much much more) to a significant other.

Tachae– You silly! You should read me often, not just occasionally. :)

But I’m glad it was what you needed today. Believe you me, I’ve had those days too.

Have a better tomorrow. And don’t forget to masturbate! Way to empower yerself, girl.

But I really needed to read this post right now.

If you buck the pairing trend long enough, the messages become overt as well as subliminal. You may not agree with the ideals of society, but you still have to live in it & interact with it every day. Sometimes having to be constantly prepared to deal with flak for being alone gets old; sometimes it causes doubts. If you don’t find yourself occasionally susceptible to that, then good for you.

Personally, I think there are merits to both the single and the coupled ways of life. It boils down to the same perspective I have for having children: It might be a wonderful experience, but it’s not one I want right now; I’m happy where I am currently, and while that might change in the future, it hasn’t yet, and I’m fine with that.

Besides that…just ’cause a person gets into a relationship doesn’t mean they have to spend every waking moment (or sleeping, for that matter) with their partner. In fact, it’s highly recommended against; that’s called ’smothering.’ Not a particularly enjoyable experience, believe you me. I think it’s absolutely critical that folk in a relationship give one another time to themselves—and that they talk about it. Such balances rarely occur by divine providence, dumb luck, or whatever you’d care to call it…but that’s a tangent for another day.

Anonymous person above: I dunno, I actually don’t find it all that difficult to ignore that kind of generalized message. I’ve come to really believe you can’t love somebody until you love yourself; stir in a general skepticism of ’socially accepted’ concepts, with a dash of the cynical standby “people in large groups are stupid,” and it becomes surprisingly easy to dismiss whatever subliminal messages might be thrown my way.

“And that’s the secret about being single, it’s realizing life doesn’t have to only be in parties of two.”

Even when you realize it, you need to make a conscious effort to remind yourself of it every single day. We’re all being bombarded with that you’re-nobody-until-somebody-loves-you message 24/7, and it can be hard not to be swayed by it even when you know better.