Comments on: The Annual Anti-Valentine’s Posting: 2009 Edition

By: Jade

Jade — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 18:10:42 +0000

Found you via Sugasm--what a great essay! I completely agree with you about romance and love and sex and desire needing to be a part of everyday relationship as opposed to something we do because of a made-up holiday. I was married for 15 years and people used to comment about our obvious "affection" for each other, like it was such a surprise when we'd been together 17 years! Hell no--I wouldn't be IN a relationship that wasn't still filled with desire, even after 15 years. Jade Jade’s last blog post..Industrial Fuck

By: Fat Controller

Fat Controller — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 14:14:25 +0000

Sorry, Steff. I hear where you're coming from but I have to disagree. Why should sharing closeness and passion in one's everyday life and going out for an intimate meal in a favourite restaurant on Valentine's Day be mutually exclusive? Even if we could afford such a special evening every day of the week it would then, by definition, cease to be special. There is a space in every relationship for something a little special every so often and February 14th just happens to be a convenient peg to hang it on. And who says that a good night out and dirty sex are mutually exclusive for that matter? It is permitted to have both! Fat Controller’s last blog post..H Is For...

By: A Scribe Called Steff

A Scribe Called Steff — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 06:53:36 +0000

Diva — Yeah, I’m getting really sick of couples who don’t realize that sex and communication are kind of the same thing, and BOTH are required for success.

Kat — I disagree, things can get to you even when you don’t want them to. That’s kind of naive. Everyone has reversals. Everyone has moments when their guard falters. And when advertising is fucking bombarding you EVERYWHERE — on buses, in free papers, on the internet, and I even feel like my own motherfucking comments page is on it with the whole “heart” logo in my CommentLuv WordPress widget. I mean, it’s EVERYWHERE right now. It’s not “getting to me” yet, but that’s because I’m a very, very busy person and I don’t have a lot of illusions of what a relationship (even a purely sexual thing) would sap from me.

But it’s getting close to really irritating me. And I know people who’ve got harder, lonelier, more unlikely-to-find-love lives, and this shit hurts them.

I agree with the rest of yer comment tho. Ha.

Kate: ;)

Shredder: Yes, it’s sad. And a waste of opportunity.

Emma: Yes, I like the childhood Valentine’s Day concept, but like most childhood things, that falls away from us and it becomes something else. And what it is, I don’t like. (shrug) Sigh.

But, I do like the idea of using it as a day of general affection. I’ll try to bear that in mind. It’s a more pleasant thought than the alternative (that of being bitchy, which I’d be unlikely to be anyhow, as I’m over Valentine’s day, but still have strong opinions about it). :)

Tart: I hear ya, sister. :)

By: Tart

Tart — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 03:00:02 +0000

people need love, romance and sex. not just valentines day but EVERY Damned day! Tart’s last blog post..kudos for sex positive...

By: emma

emma — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:04:20 +0000

I heartily agree with you, though I'd compare Vday more with New Years than Christmas - there's always so much expectation and artificial cheer built into the holiday. I do also agree with Kat, though, that if you are single (which I am at the moment) you have as much power to be happy being single on Feb 14th as on any other day. Too, I harken back to elementary school, when everyone received a "Be My Valentine" just for being in the same classroom. I don't think Vday is just meant to be celebrated with the person you are (hopefully) shtupping. It can/should be just a designated day to celebrate love,in all its forms - give your mom a call, have tea with some good friends, be kind to a stranger. Like having sex and being treated well by your romantic partner, these little acts of love should occur freely, at all times of the year, but if/when life gets overwhelming, Feb 14th can serve as a little reminder. Enjoy your weekend. emma’s last blog post..7 Secrets

By: ShredderFeeder

ShredderFeeder — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:57:30 +0000

I absolutly could not have said it better myself. Valentines day is a recipe for failure for most people. Pressure to get the right gift, (or to not get the wrong gift, or to get a gift at all) so much focus on something that should be present every day in your life. J ShredderFeeder’s last blog post..I outed the tooth-fairy……

By: kateanon

kateanon — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:29:34 +0000

Applause!

By: Kat

Kat — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:42:59 +0000

Its funny but even when I was single, I wasnt down with the whole Singles Awareness Day. To me, that just is a holiday made up by jaded people who cant be strong enough to just treat Vday like any other day. Does one have to feel like, if they arent celebrating Valentines Day, than they are horrible because they are single? Hell no.

But these people do. They let the holiday get to their insecurity about being single. All other times of the year, they may not feel the void but on Feb. 14th, there it is. Stupid if you ask me. Something cant get to you if you dont let it if you know what I mean.

I do honestly think that Vday shouldnt be an excuse to show affection to your love. If that is the extent of your relationship, than why are you in it. IF you lack time than dont involve another person just so you can have blips here and there to not be lonely. I too am behind your “friends with benefits” deal. Works and gives you the best of both.

Kat

By: Diva

Diva — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:34:57 +0000

I’m with you totally on this rant. It also takes two people in a relationship/marriage to keep it going and alive.

For me at this point in my life I like the Friends-with-Benefits. I don’t need flowers or chocolates on one particular day of the year. (Although I will take chocolate any day of the year) I would much rather have someone I can respect and laugh with that is honest in what we can give each other.

Thanks for the rant!