Category Archives: Being single

Dec
11
2009

Flirting Fail: In Which Steff ‘Fesses Up

At the tender young age of 36, I find myself having to learn infinite new things because of the ways in which I’ve changed myself over the last two years, after a lifetime spent insecure, unhealthy, and fat.
One of those things I’m gonna have to learn now? Flirting. Truth be told, I’m a pretty terrible [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dimestore Philosophy, Journalling, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, keeping it real, weight loss | Comments (5)
Mar
15
2009

Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News

Sex, even mere hanky-panky, is a workout.
All that squirming and groping and thrusting makes your whole body (if you’re doing it right) tense and flex. Maybe even throb a little.
Injuries can happen in sex. Hell, people die shagging when their hearts give out. From orgasm to aneurysm, just like that.

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, How To Guides, Hygiene & Health, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Sex, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (1)
Mar
14
2009

My Own Private Dichotomy

Fear is not my friend. I don’t care what the bookstore’s self-help section says.
Fear is a bitch. A mean, driven bitch.
I am not a fan of fear.
I bought that book. Twice. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyways. Sometimes I do it anyways. But I always feel the fear. Ever-present, always-niggling fear.
Fortunately I know that [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Modern Feminism, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Sex, Specifically Steff, weight loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (2)
Mar
12
2009

Arousing — Er, Awaking the Beast

I’m at my breaking point, I suspect. My resolve isn’t very resolved anymore.
I have this incredibly awesome gift most people would KILL for. When I’m not sexually involved, I can flip my libido off like a lightswitch. It’s why I’m so content to not date. Because dating just toys with my resolve. Once I’m on [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Foreplay & Arousing, Humour, Hygiene & Health, Romance, Sex, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (4)
Mar
09
2009

The Unpredictability of the Wildcard

It’s a full moon tonight and I had a bit of a full moon today.
A face from the past came ’round. Leaves me with some heavy thinking to do. When the past comes back, it’s for one of two reasons. To either teach you not to go there. Or to prompt you to go there.
I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, Psychology & Moods, Romance, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (4)
Dec
23
2008

Thoughts On Community: In With the Out Crowd

It’s funny, this whole “sex blogger community” thing. I’m all for it, but I don’t feel part of it at all. Not because people don’t include me, they do. It’s just… it’s complicated.
I’ve always felt this way, but in the recent months my feelings have been given a boost and now I feel sort of [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Society, Specifically Steff, Twitter | Tagged , , , | Comments (2)
Dec
17
2008

“The Truth Is, I’m Lonely”

It’s morning, before 7, there’s both fresh snow and fresh coffee. I was spent by 10 last night and fell asleep during Eli Stone, so I’m finishing it off before I begin the painful commute to work.
There’s a moment when, after a promising four-date relationship crumbles to dust, Eli says simply, “It’s not like I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, Journalling, Modern Feminism, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff, weight loss | Tagged , , , , | Comments (2)
Oct
29
2008

Stupid Over Love: The Human Condition

If there’s anything that’ll make me sick of Twitter in a hurry, it’s the endless drama regarding relationships and people’s moods. Some days, life’s too short.
That’s not to say that I don’t get it when people need to vent. Oh, do I. I get it.
Last night someone complained on Twitter, “Oh, I hate when I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, History, Lust & Longing, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Romance, Society, Twitter | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (1)
Jul
03
2008

All Wound Up and No One to Spring On

A storm is brewing. The air is thick, heavy, clinging,and almost chewy. Now and then a salt-laden breeze sweeps through my apartment, bringing a fragment of relief. And then it goes away, and all that’s left is this ominous forbearance of a change about to rain down on us, literally.
I love when a storm comes [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Best of Steff, Dating, Humour, Lust & Longing, Masturbation, Sex, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (4)
Jun
28
2008

The Requisite Quarterly Drunken Posting (Hicc)

So, I’m drunk. It’s been forever and a day since I’ve drank and blogged, so you’re owed, dear reader, you’re owed.
Of course, there’s about 60% chance that this posting will suck, but I’ve given you the “I’m drunk” caveat and I’m good if you are. :) Mm, wine!
It’s a cheap and dirty Californian Burgundy. I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Best of Steff, Dating, Drugs, Journalling, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , | Comments (3)
Jun
25
2008

Things I Love to Do, and Can, ‘Cause I’m Single – #17

Leaving work early, like I have something important to rush off for, but, really, all I want to do is have a dinner date with myself: Get to a local Farmer’s Market before it closes, buy ingredients for a as-yet-undecided very in-season gourmet meal with fresh local Coho salmon, heirloom tomatoes, a bottle of wine, [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Tagged , | Comments (0)
Jun
25
2008

Things I Love to Do, and Can, ‘Cause I’m Single – #14

I think I’ve started something here, so I’m now compiling a complete list of these, including reader suggestions for additional points. See the comments on this posting for the complete list. Have your say and get on the list, if ya like. Have at it.

Having a four-day long weekend planned with exciting things to do [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Tagged , , , | Comments (6)
Jun
23
2008

Things I Love to Do, and Can, ‘Cause I’m Single – #7

Note: If you’re wondering why the list started at #6, it’s because I thought “sleep in, get drunk, masturbate, burp, and wear pajamas for the whole day” were really obvious as a solid lock for the top 5. I mean, really, come on. They’re universal. We’re not proud that we like to be that way [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Tagged | Comments (5)
Jun
22
2008

Things I Love to Do, and Can, ‘Cause I’m Single – #6

Eat cold cereal for supper.

By A Scribe Called Steff | Tagged | Comments (4)
Jun
17
2008

And Then There Was Sloth

Behold! What is that slow-moving mostly-horizontal creature on yonder horizon?
It be Steff! Yes, yes. Embracing the spirit of “r and r” to the, well, letter, yes, here on day four of the vacation. Yesterday I cycled. Today, I’ll do yoga. And a little light cleaning. I’ve done dishes. Faced the ugly bits-of-food sink-clogging drama that [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Best of Steff, General, Journalling, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , | Comments (1)
Jun
16
2008

Rant: Tired of Defending a "Party of One"

As a blogger, nothing gets me going better than comments. It’s when people comment that we know we’ve said something not only worth reading, but worth considering, and sometimes even worth arguing.

Yesterday’s posting inspired a bit of a discussion between a couple of readers, so I’ll excerpt those comments here:
Anon: “And that’s the secret about [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Battle of the Comments, Best of Steff, Dating, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Society, Steff Rants | Tagged , , , , | Comments (9)
Jun
15
2008

How to Enjoy the Single (And Non-Dating) Life

Most places you look and read will have you believe that everyone who’s single dates all the time. Really? My friends and I have missed that memo.
So it’s easy to feel like you’re a loser when you’re the one who’s totally current on what’s happening on all your favourite tv shows, since you’re the one [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Best of Steff, Dating, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, sugasm | Tagged , , , | Comments (10)
Jun
14
2008

The Existential Fall-out of just a Little Date

Three or four weeks ago, I had a date I’d been both excited about and worried about. He seemed like a really great, sweet guy with a big brain and a love for life, but I also knew he was overweight, and, personality wise, virtually a carbon copy of an ex I quite liked a [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Best of Steff, Drugs, Hygiene & Health, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Society, weight loss | Tagged , , , , | Comments (5)
Jun
12
2008

Kickin’ Ass & Takin’ Names: Back in Black!

I cycled to and from work for the first time in three weeks today. Three weeks today it felt like I’d blown it out a little. The next day, Thursday, I couldn’t even hold a fork. So, no cycling in three weeks, and today 24 clicks. A little kamikaze of me, yes, but that’s me [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Hygiene & Health, Specifically Steff, Women's Department, weight loss | Tagged , , | Comments (2)