Category Archives: How To Guides

May
04
2009

Miss California: The Boobs Are on the Job

I had to doublecheck my old-school calendar just now. Holy fuck, it really is 2009. Who knew?
Clearly not the folks running the Miss California Pageant.
Yeah, Miss California. You remember her? Perez Hilton went all “oh, no you didn’t [SNAP]” as a result of the ass-backward beauty’s anti-gay marriage stance she posited while she grinned and [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Current Events, Dimestore Philosophy, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Modern Feminism, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Politics, Society, Steff Rants, feminism | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (5)
Mar
15
2009

Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News

Sex, even mere hanky-panky, is a workout.
All that squirming and groping and thrusting makes your whole body (if you’re doing it right) tense and flex. Maybe even throb a little.
Injuries can happen in sex. Hell, people die shagging when their hearts give out. From orgasm to aneurysm, just like that.

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being single, Dating, Hygiene & Health, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Sex, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (1)
Dec
16
2008

Steff’s Easy-Start Guide to Changing Your Life: Part Two

I began this series last month, here’s part one. It’s pretty unstructured, but the early part of the series is focusing on the head game, because without the head game down, you’ll have no success. It’s all in the head game.
The most important thing you need to do if you want to effect serious change [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Best of Steff, General, Hygiene & Health, Lifestyle, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, weight loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
Nov
25
2008

How to REALLY Do Kegels: Things I’ve Learned In Rehab

PLEASE READ THE COMMENT DISCUSSION ON THIS POSTING, SINCE THERE ARE VALID CONCERNS BEFORE FOLLOWING ANYTHING IN THIS POSTING. Let me be perfectly clear: This is NOT a posting about how to heal back pain. This remedy is for MY back pain, conjured after a few hours of one-on-one time with a physiotherapist who took [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Hygiene & Health, Orgasm Trouble, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (6)
Nov
18
2008

Steff’s Easy-Start Guide to Changing Your Life: Part One

So, a Twitterer made the comment that, with the holidays almost here, the annual malaise of reflection and regret would soon be upon him. And I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be the first time ever I sit down at the end of a year and go, “Holy fuck. I accomplished THAT?””
16 months ago, I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Lifestyle, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (3)
Nov
12
2008

Update, and How to Be When People You Care About Need Your Help

Hello, world!
I’m still in a mad spiral as I sort out everything to do with my loan, and then I can slowly segue back to mostly-broke time-on-her-hands Steff that brings you tons to read. It’s been WEEKS since I’ve been able to sit at my writing desk to write for you, but I think the [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Hygiene & Health, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Psychology & Moods, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)
Jun
19
2008

On Oral, A Reader Asks: Can I Really Tease Her For More Than An Hour?

some days are clean slates, just waiting for some input, a spark, a suggestion. some days are lazy days of slack, and on such a day, it’s nice to receive a great email from a snazzy reader, especially when it’s something worth spending a little time writing on. if you have something you think i [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Best of Steff, Foreplay & Arousing, Gay or Straight?, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Questions From Readers, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (5)
Oct
15
2005

Bondage on the cheap?

Are you, like me, a fan of light bondage, but not into the sorts of high-end bondage bed sets that cost an arm and a leg? Do you lack an old-fashioned headboard to bind your lover to? Have no fear. Here’s a two-dollar bondage hijinks tip from yours truly.
Visit your local dollar store and pick [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Bondage, MacGyvery Sex Aids & Props, Sex, Sex Toys & Aids | Tagged , , | Comments (7)
Sep
29
2005

Getting Stiffed By the Stiffy & Happy Birthday to Me

I’m 32 today, folks. That being the case, I’m a little busy being busy and birthdayish for the next couple of days. YAY me.
I wrote this posting over on NYHotties for you kids to read in answer to LabBoy’s question about the “five-minute” rule — you know, how guys tend to blow their wad the [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Dating, Men's Department, Orgasm Trouble, Questions From Readers, Sex, Sex Toys & Aids, dysfunction | Tagged , , , | Comments (10)
Sep
24
2005

You asked? Cock Rings

Chelsea Girl requested that I address the issue of cock rings. So, here goes.
Once upon a time, in Middle Earth, a Hobbit named Frodo went on a quest to destroy the One Ring that would rule them all… Err. Well. Okay, different ring.
A cock ring is a blood-flow restrictor for the penis. Cock rings are [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Men's Department, Questions From Readers, Sex, Sex Toys & Aids | Tagged , , , | Comments (14)
Sep
18
2005

The Guide to Turning Them Off

We’ve all been there. Someone approaches us at a party, their eyes go all neon “F-u-c-k   m-e,   p-l-e-a-s-e.” They hang onto us. They flirt. They harass. Most importantly, they annoy. Oh, fuck, do they annoy.
And sometimes it seems that no matter how you try, they just don’t get the fucking hint.
Maybe you need [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Dating, Humour | Tagged , , , | Comments (10)
Sep
17
2005

A Detour: Acquisitions

Normally, I tend to write about sex on this blog. At the beginning, though, I had said it would be frequently about sex, but occasionally I might write about something else that was possibly inappropriate for my other blog.
So. This is one of those times. Certain people read my other blog.
Some of us are fortunate [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Drugs, General, Humour, Journalling | Tagged , , | Comments (5)
Sep
04
2005

The Man’s Guide to Cunnilingus: Part 4

This is part four in my opus on cunnilingus.
Part one is here, part two is here, and part three is here.
Tackling a lover orally can be quite different for the two sexes, not just for the obvious reasons.
As far as I’ve been able to discern, sucking dick’s the same no matter how you approach it. [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , | Comments (21)
Sep
01
2005

The Young Woman’s Guide to Getting Over Herself

This was a posting over at www.NYHotties.com by yours truly. The blog owner there is Alexa, so this was a letter sent to Alexa, and Alexa asked me to answer it for her:
Hi, I’m Steff, and I’ll be your cruise director tonight.
I’m a Canadian girl, born & raised in Vancouver, and I run a [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Masturbation, Orgasm Trouble, Questions From Readers, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , | Comments (2)
Aug
30
2005

The Man’s Guide to Cunnilingus Pt. 3

If you’re new to this discussion, read Part One here, Part One-B here, and Part Two here.
___________
We left off with me urging you to get in touch with your inner bastard and enter her for two or three teasing, taunting thrusts before leaving her wanting more.
That done, feel free to grin mischeviously and tell her [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Questions From Readers, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , | Comments (29)
Aug
28
2005

The Man’s Guide to Cunnilingus Pt. 2

I’m assuming you’ve read part one of this? As a preamble to part two, I’d like to get you to read the scene found below from the show Friends. The point is pretty basic: Almost every chick has had the experience where a guy just has no clue how many erogenous zones we have — [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Questions From Readers, Sex, Uncategorized, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , | Comments (24)
Aug
28
2005

The Sex Tips Scene from "Friends"

When this scene originally aired nearly a decade ago, I howled with laughter. I thought it was as true then as it is now, that guys fail to realize just how goddamned much of our bodies can be tagged as erogenous zones. This was from early in the fourth season. I think it’s relevant to [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, General, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , | Comments (5)
Aug
27
2005

The Man’s Guide to Cunnilingus: Pt. 1

I had an anonymous request to do a companion guide for my “Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head,” so here we go.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Oral sex is best when it’s a long, dedicated endeavour. If you want a quickie, then fuck and be done with it. If you [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Men's Department, Oral Sex, Questions From Readers, Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , , | Comments (37)
Aug
18
2005

Sexual Q & A: How Can I Spice Things Up?

ANONYMOUS ASKS: What’s a girl to do when her new boyfriend is VERY conservative and she wants to shake things up? Suggestions? This guy is NOT experienced but he’s really adorable.
STEFF ANSWERS: Keeping in mind that conservative attitudes about sex are usually resulting from ignorance or fear, I think you gotta proceed slowly.
If this were [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Advice, Questions From Readers, Sex | Tagged , , , | Comments (6)
Aug
16
2005

The Good Girl’s Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 2

When we last left off, I was recapping the wonders of the Creamsicle move. Trusty, classic, and effective. Here are the remaining fave moves of mine. Of course, you can mix’n’match all the moves and shake them up, and you can think outside the box and bring in other techniques. There’s really only one no-no [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Oral Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , | Comments (17)
Aug
16
2005

The Good Girl’s Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 1

I’m a perfectionist. This has served me well in many areas of my life, say, at work or in the kitchen. Or, as it happens, in the bedroom.
I like to think of oral sex as a fine art. I think it’s the most sensual, supposedly selfless thing you can do for a lover.
Now, I say [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Oral Sex, Women's Department | Tagged , , , | Comments (18)
Aug
14
2005

The Fine Art of Massage

For me, one of the most passionate things I can do for a man is a massage, and if he does it right, likewise.
I take massages very, very seriously. A great massage takes you to a different place. Paying for a massage is one thing, but receiving one from a lover fills me with raw [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Massage, Romance | Tagged , , , , | Comments (22)