Category Archives: Journalling

Feb
26
2010

The Dark Side: A Brief Look At My Descent

Today, Andrew Koenig, a respected stand-up comedian and former “background” star in Growing Pains, was found dead, having committed suicide, and not too far from the happy Olympicky goings-on here in Vancouver.
Depression was known to plague Koenig. He got off his anti-depressants sometime last year, and clearly the rest is a story still developing.
I’ve been [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, Life 101, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Society, Specifically Steff, adhd, keeping it real | Comments (11)
Feb
23
2010

Soon The Olympics Leave

It’s Day 12 of the Winter Olympics here in Vancouver. Four will remain. The insanity is everywhere. Here, look at this shot from last Saturday night. Something like 20 blocks of the city looked like that. Needless to say, such a long, wild ride comes with Olympic highs… and Olympic lows. Here’s a look at [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Specifically Steff, Steff Rants, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (6)
Feb
17
2010

In Case of My Death, Read

I’m familiar with fear. Oh, am I familiar with fear.
In fact, I’m not actually a person. I’m a giant ‘fraidy-cat. Yup. A pussy, wimp, gutless turd.
I do it well.

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, Life 101, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments (2)
Feb
06
2010

10 Years On: Rembering My Dead Mother

I haven’t been funny in days.
I’m moody and full of vitamin-Cunt tonight.
I couldn’t figure it out.
What’s eating me? Why am I spiralling into a darker and darker place? Why do I hate the idea of attending any of the 3 parties to which I was invited tonight? Why does the idea of just being civil [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, Specifically Steff, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments (5)
Jan
23
2010

A Moment of Clarity, A Project to Start

I’m at the tail-end of a ceremonial shot of Jack Daniels. I’m celebrating.
This past week, I’ve figured out a structure for my book, and the start of the order of content and how to make it marketably different from most of the non-fiction offerings out there.
I want my book to be profoundly literate. I want [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Being me, Specifically Steff, keeping it real, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
Jan
19
2010

Why I Love My ADHD

I’m going to be writing more about ADHD over the next while. I started last week with this posting here.
Seems to me too many people are all shame-filled about their ADHD. What the fuck is that about?
Here, take your stereotypes and shove it. Know what my ADHD doesn’t make me do? It doesn’t make [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Being me, Education, Specifically Steff, Twitter, Uncategorized, adhd, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (5)
Jan
14
2010

In Which Steff Talks About Her ADHD

I found out last Friday that my company’s letting us work from home when the Winter Olympics rolls into town in a couple weeks. My office is in the thick of Olympics Central in downtown Vancouver, between the major “live event” locations and all the sports stadiums. I was already having panic attacks about getting [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being me, Hygiene & Health, Specifically Steff, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (12)
Jan
08
2010

From There to Here

In 2007, I spent 7 months working for a toxic employer.
By the time I left my job, I was close to the highest I’ve ever weighed, at my most negative and always whining, feeling sorry for myself, and feeling pretty hopeless about everything, especially about writing, which I’d been sucking at for nearly a year [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, existentialism, keeping it real, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (2)
Jan
07
2010

Bittersweet Winter Mornings & Their Longings

A little after waking, a furiously beautiful sunrise lit my little part of the world up. Red, red, red, as far as the eye could see. Fire on the horizon, exploding across the cottony clouds that spread west over the Pacific.
Some shivers, some cold toes, but it was worth heading out to stand on my [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in General, Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
Jan
04
2010

Cashing My Reality Check

Whew. Here we are. January 4, 2010.
I’d given myself a good excuse not to write this morning: “I don’t feel like it”; but now I feel like I need to put some stuff down. Not for you, not because I said I’d try to write 10 pieces on Getting Shit Done in 2010, but because [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Specifically Steff, fitness, keeping it real, weight loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (1)
Dec
23
2009

My Memories of Christmas

I’ve decided to do a sentimental posting in honour of Christmas.
I don’t have a lot going on this year, but that’s how I wanted it… too many plans would have me emotionally overwhelmed. I’d rather think “My, those two weeks look empty. I’ll have to drum up some fun” rather than “Jesus, what have I [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Autobiographical, Best of Steff, Specifically Steff | Comments (4)
Dec
17
2009

Writing about Writing

Let me just say this before I get too far into my thoughts here:

I know Canada is small, with about 10% of the US population.
I doubt many people vote in the Canadian Blog Awards.
I’ve checked my in-box, and I’ve still not heard from the Pulitzer Committee.

And yet I’ll write this.
______________
The Canadian Blog Awards nomination for [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff, keeping it real, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (1)
Dec
11
2009

Flirting Fail: In Which Steff ‘Fesses Up

At the tender young age of 36, I find myself having to learn infinite new things because of the ways in which I’ve changed myself over the last two years, after a lifetime spent insecure, unhealthy, and fat.
One of those things I’m gonna have to learn now? Flirting. Truth be told, I’m a pretty terrible [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being single, Dimestore Philosophy, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, keeping it real, weight loss | Comments (5)
Dec
03
2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I started the Bonus Resolution plan for FREE and I get a whole extra month of kicking ass and taking names! My 2010 started on December 1st!
It’s the Olympic year in Vancouver, you know. “Citius. Altius. Fortius.” Faster. Higher. Stronger.
Considering a couple years ago I weighed 65 pounds more, couldn’t run a block, do a [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being me, Hygiene & Health, Specifically Steff, weight loss | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)
Dec
01
2009

RANT: Can I *JUST* Talk?

It’s worth reading the note at the end of this if you really ARE in my life, because what I want online versus from people in the flesh are very different. Thanks.
This morning I’m feeling a bit hamstrung by the life I’ve carved for myself.
I know even saying this is going to ruffle some feathers, [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff, Steff Rants, Twitter, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments (3)
Nov
18
2009

“Hope” Ain’t a Four-Letter Word No Mo’

Shit, man, it’s over! The loan from hell! It’s OVER.
I has a shiny new loan. With mo’ money, fully consolidated debt, but much lower payments, but only adding 18 months on. Insane! With it, a new lease on life.
I’m not gonna be all moneybags all of a sudden. No. The only outward sign of change [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Specifically Steff, keeping it real | Comments (2)
Nov
16
2009

“YOU’RE APPROVED!” Now, Sign Your Life Away.

I went to the bank Saturday. I told them to give me money. I fucked up my last loan, and my loans officer fucked it up even worse. It was a partial-debt-consolidation loan where the banker didn’t make my overdraft go poof. No sense consolidating debt if you’re continuing to live in your overdraft. Pity [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dimestore Philosophy, Life 101, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Society, Specifically Steff, keeping it real | Comments (1)
Nov
08
2009

Choosing Success

I’m having one of those honest-with-myself days. They’re never very much fun, are they?
I’ve been getting increasingly stressed out about several areas of my life, just because it’s coming down to the crunch and probably also because I’m incredibly skilled at making things more difficult than they need to be.
As a result, I’ve had sort [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Dimestore Philosophy, Hygiene & Health, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, keeping it real, weight loss, writing | Comments (1)
Nov
02
2009

The New Normal

I knew I was PMSing Friday morning. I was prepared for a shitty day. Got what I was expected, with the added bonus at the end — of finding out my father has prostate cancer.
I know, everyone’s sorry, everyone hopes he’ll pull through. Thank you. Let’s not all say it, though. I’ve been to The [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Tagged , | Comments (4)
Oct
30
2009

Tired, Wired, At the End of It All

I’m frustrated as hell today.
I know I’m PMSing. I’m getting pissed off at obligations, frustrated at my lack of time, angry at the day ahead of me, and I have nothing I can do to really change or improve any of it, other than the plans on tap.
It’s chemicals, man. I’d apologize, but I don’t [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Uncategorized, keeping it real | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
Oct
23
2009

Why Do I Blog? Some Thoughts.

After editing this, it occurs to me it should be two separate posts, both developed more fully, but that’s a lot of work. I’ll try to expand a bit on the “social” aspect, or even the socio-political aspects I allude to, in another posting, and I’ll post this here & now as-is. That way, you [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Being me, Communication, Dimestore Philosophy, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (3)
Oct
21
2009

Phases Come and Phases Go

Two or three years ago I made myself the promise that I was going to stop stopping. No more stagnation. Growth, growth, growth! Think tumour, think– uh, wait a second. Scratch that one. Think… something.
When I was a kid, about 15, I’d gotten a bit more sophisticated than the “George-Michael-over-every-single-fucking-wall!” method of interior design, and [...]

By A Scribe Called Steff | Also posted in Specifically Steff | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (0)