When this blog first began, for its first year or so, it was all sex or relationships that I was writing about. Most of the time, anyhow, as I kept my “personal” writing on another blog. Somewhere along the way, I gave up separating the two.
But as I’m getting into writing my book, something’s got [...]
Four years ago I wrote a posting about cheating and in it I had a little rant about being called an “older woman” by the letter-writer when I was only 32. The posting is here, and today I deleted a comment that referred to the rant-within-the-posting with this comment that I’ve chosen to delete for [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Communication, Modern Feminism, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Oral Sex, Specifically Steff, Uncategorized, keeping it real, sexuality
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Tagged ageism, asshats, cougars, double standards, Ethics, hang-ups, hypocrisy, judgment, labels, morality, old-fashioned, overt, physicality, sexuality, slutty, Society, stupidity
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We use words like “empty” and “full” to judge qualities of life –
“Oh, he’s amazing, he leads such a full life!”
“Wow. I feel so sorry for her when she leaves to go home, she looks so sad, like her night and life are so empty.”
…But how much of those “full” lives is filler? And how [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Being me, Dimestore Philosophy, General, Life 101, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Society, keeping it real
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Tagged appreciating what you have, awareness, filler, full lives, gratitude, making choices, slowing down
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Denis Leary was on Letterman the other night and was joking that he’d gone through five marriage counsellors that “sucked” before he found the sixth, who was awesome, but then he said that once he accepted he was wrong, everything went gr-r-r-reat with counselling.
I had to laugh.
I’ve been having the same epiphany of late.
For five [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Dimestore Philosophy, General, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Specifically Steff, fitness
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Tagged acceptance, back problems, becoming right, being powerless, being wrong, injury, learning about yourself, life, occam's razon, ockham's razor, rehab
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I have this longstanding love/hate relationship with writing.
I love the articulation of thought, the solving of ideas, the expressing of inner qualities.
The trouble with readers is, what they see is what they get.
You people, you read my blog and you somehow think what I put up here is some finite guide to the divinity of [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Best of Steff, Communication, Dating, General, Journalling, Society, Specifically Steff
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Tagged blogs, friends, interpretations, lovers, not so many answers, questions, writing
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[One of those into-and-almost-done-a-bottle-of-wine postings. Bear with me here.]
So, Mission: Get a Life is underway.
Making friends, for me? Not very hard. Not if I am myself. If I’m relaxed, content, sociable, people warm to me quickly and easily. And why not? I’m a good person. Better yet, I’m funny. I even make the aesthete’s basic [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Current Events, Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, Humour, Journalling
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Tagged again drunk, drunk, drunk again, in vino veritas, life, meeting people, self, socializing, weightlosss, wine
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I had a private chat with chick on Twitter recently, and we spoke of men who’ve made rather over-the-top “requests” before first meetings with us.
Well, with her. I’ve never actually followed through with plans with any of those guys. But that’s how I roll. My Spidey senses are on the job 24/7.
I’ve been “dating” for [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Advice, Dating, General, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Psychology & Moods, Sex, Specifically Steff
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Tagged Dating, demands, fear, fetishes, fuck buddies, fwb, instinct, play, safety, Sex, strictly sex
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a bath, a book, a glass of wine. a fine end to a mostly long day.
the book? elizabeth smart’s By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept. poetric prose. love tryst. “homewrecking”, said moralistic critics of the time. swirling romance, says i. fitting for a tub.1940s classic lost for a couple of decades, then [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Current Events, General, Journalling, Sex, Specifically Steff
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Tagged a lament, sleeping naked, spring fever, stopping to smell the flowers, summer, summer solstice, winter
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Every year, without fail, I’m forced to write yet another posting saying pretty much all the same things. Like, if you can’t be romantic the rest of the year, you don’t deserve a lover. If you can’t remember to live with passion when it’s not February 14th, then you’re wasting oxygen.
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Consumerism, Dating, Humour, Lust & Longing, Marriage & Other Commitments, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Sex, Society, Steff Rants
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Tagged anti-valentines, anti-valentines day, boycot valentines, commericialism, hallmark, keeping the love alive, valentine's day
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I’m sitting here in my Chuck’s, with my suede carcoat on, my sunglasses, and even my courier bag slung around my shoulder, because I was literally turning my doorhandle and something hit me.
I realized my bike ride yesterday is literally one of maybe a half-dozen times I’ve really been able to just settle the fuck [...]
I had a moment tonight.
My best friend GayBoy (@mr_tits_pervert on Twitter) was over tonight and we were drinking, doing the Silly Thing, and I was off in the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror and I just remembered my mother and how I always thought she was so beautiful. You know, when she wasn’t wearing her [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, Twitter, weight loss
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Tagged family, mothers and daughters, seeing yourself in a new light, struggling, success, weight loss
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My father is morbidly obese, and then some. He’s pushing 400 pounds. His legs are shot. His heart’s riddled with issues. There’s the stepmom’s chain-smoking, his daily dalliances with alcohol despite being told a single drink could kill him, and then there’s the ridiculous Southern diet the wife (who was a nurse for 35 years, is equally morbidly obese, smokes, is never active, and who is also diabetic with heart issues) is always cooking. How about scalloped potatoes in their house? A casserole has a half-stick of butter and a jar of Cheez Whiz. You want sour cream with that? It’s in the fridge.
If there was a textbook “how not to be diabetic” example, it’d be them.
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, weight loss
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Tagged changing yourself, diabetes, family, health, hospitals, how to be successful, lifechange, parenthood, weight loss
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This will offend a lot of people’s sentiments, and I don’t care, I’m saying it anyhow.
I am absolutely pro-gay rights. I am completely for gay marriage and gay adoption rights. I loathe violence against gays, and think “hate crimes” prosecutions should be used not only more frequently, but more vehemently.
That said, it’s times like these [...]
I began this series last month, here’s part one. It’s pretty unstructured, but the early part of the series is focusing on the head game, because without the head game down, you’ll have no success. It’s all in the head game.
The most important thing you need to do if you want to effect serious change [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Advice, Best of Steff, General, How To Guides, Hygiene & Health, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, weight loss
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Tagged Advice, being better, changing your life, changing yourself, depression, improving yourself, Lifestyle, smutwear, steff is dead long live steff, struggle to change, weight loss
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Two piles of “fat” clothes sit in garbage bags by my front door, waiting to get donated, like the two bags I ditched last week. It’s the end of an era.
I’ve been buying clothes lately, the last two weeks. It’s been emotional hell. I’m about a size 15 now (down from 22/24), and that makes [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Advice, Hygiene & Health, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, weight loss
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Tagged body image, fat girl no more, Fat Girl No More: How I Lost 50 Pounds, improving yourself, kicking ass and taking names, overcoming weight problems, pride, self-esteem, success, weight loss
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So, a Twitterer made the comment that, with the holidays almost here, the annual malaise of reflection and regret would soon be upon him. And I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be the first time ever I sit down at the end of a year and go, “Holy fuck. I accomplished THAT?””
16 months ago, I [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Advice, How To Guides, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff
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Tagged Advice, being better, changing your life, changing yourself, depression, improving yourself, Lifestyle, smutwear, steff is dead long live steff, struggle to change, weight loss
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Amidst the euphoria of Obama’s rise last night, every referendum on gay marriage was voted down.
Gay rights activists are going to be broken-hearted today. I know. You want what you want when you wanted it. You want America to be ready. You think it’s so obvious, so elementary, so how could anyone who understands what [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Current Events, Gay or Straight?, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Politics, Society
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Tagged ban, california, elections 2008, gay marriage, proposal 8, referendum, usa
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I’m all torn these days. The more I consider relationships, the more I realize I don’t really know what I want, nor what I can handle. I’ve accepted a date for sometime next week with a poly guy. I’m curious as to whether I can process such a relationship.
I’m not concerned about my ability to [...]
A reader, Dp, just happened to ask me to maybe touch on the difference between a person’s sexuality and the person. He and I sort of look at the equation differently, I suppose, but it’s something I’ve been considering a lot.
I’ve placed a sexual encounters personal of late, trying to find that elusive friends-with-benefit situation [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Also posted in Best of Steff, Dating, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Sex, Specifically Steff
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Tagged companionship, friends with benefits, searching for love, settling for less, sexuality, single
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RANT: BDSM Films are “Torture-Based” Porn?
One of the most offensive things to me is when journalists — people who are paid to get messages right — get things wrong.
Like here, in the San Francisco News, where they describe fetish films with bondage and sado-masochism as being “torture-based” films.
Talk about an economic stimulus. California taxpayers have paid $46,791 so that employees [...]