Tag Archives: self-esteem

Mindfucks: $1.75 and Yer Good To Blow

After all the drama of yesterday’s posting, I weighed myself, and I’m exactly where I was 3 weeks ago, which is at a 7-pound gain after losing 72 pounds. But I have less muscle tone, though.
And I now remember washing a load of clothes on hot. Oops.

Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide

When “fat” is your body issue, and I’m talking F-A-T here, there are three places you cannot help but be confronted with your bigness.
The changing room in retail stores, in pay-for-space seating (like amusement parks, theatres, planes), and in your own bathtub.
For several years there, I wasn’t having baths.

Hanging Up on Hang-ups

Funny how we get so hung up on our hang-ups we sometimes don’t even notice when they’ve disappeared.*
I was fucking floored Thursday night when I realized the varicose veins I’d been loathing for the last year had suddenly vanished in the last couple months, thanks to my awesome new fitness regime. Poof, gone.
Ironically, I’d already [...]

Sidewalk Reckonings

I’ve never been a walker. It was always painful for me. Somehow, over the last six months, maybe the stretching routine I’ve gotten into, perhaps the weight I’ve lost, walking has become comfortable, even enjoyable. I daresay I may even have a cute bounce in my step instead of the weary old “do I have [...]

Fat Girl No More: How I Lost 50 Pounds

Two piles of “fat” clothes sit in garbage bags by my front door, waiting to get donated, like the two bags I ditched last week. It’s the end of an era.
I’ve been buying clothes lately, the last two weeks. It’s been emotional hell. I’m about a size 15 now (down from 22/24), and that makes [...]

The Business of Unhappiness

Body image. Stand any one of us in front of a mirror, ask us to reveal what we dislike about ourselves, and an unhesitating list would be quickly forthcoming.
Industry knows this. They count on it. All the way to the bank.
If you’re happy about yourself, why would you ever spend all that disposable income on [...]

Oh, Fuck, I Look Like WHAT Today?

Mental note to self:
It is stupid, incredibly so, to take self shopping on first day of new heat wave because, self knows thyself, and knows bloating always comes with a heat wave. Plus, stomach wasn’t feeling well, so shopping in that state?
Fully crossing the threshold from “idiotic” to “stupid insane” because now my “Wow, [...]

The struggle to love one’s self

I am imperfect. Maybe it’s a newsflash to you, but it’s something I’ve been far too aware of for my entire life.
As a kid, I was plagued with health problems. It wasn’t until my early teens that my epilepsy went away and we discovered that the causes of my endless troubles ultimately stemmed from a [...]