Funny how we get so hung up on our hang-ups we sometimes don’t even notice when they’ve disappeared.*
I was fucking floored Thursday night when I realized the varicose veins I’d been loathing for the last year had suddenly vanished in the last couple months, thanks to my awesome new fitness regime. Poof, gone.
Ironically, I’d already [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Best of Steff, Dimestore Philosophy, General, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, fitness, weight loss
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Also tagged adapting, being real, changing, getting real, loving yourself, perspective, processing change, self-esteem, self-image
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The hardest part of losing weight, I’m finding, is the challenge of identity.
Being fat isn’t just something that happens over the course of a month. Being fat, becoming as fat as I ever got, took me 25 years exactly. 25 years of daily contributing to an obviously ever-growing problem.
From an eight-year-old spending a summer with [...]
THIS POSTING’S DEDICATED TO ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY’RE STUCK BEING FAT. It’s not all hand-holding and gentle. I cut through the bullshit. You want your reality check? Start here. Oh, and I’m not selling a fuckin’ thing. I’m just trying to help you do what I’ve done, because it’s WORTH it.
I get a lot of [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Advice, Best of Steff, Hygiene & Health, Specifically Steff, censorship, fitness, weight loss
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Also tagged becoming thin, changing yourself, choices, health, how to lose weight, metabolism, the secret to weight loss
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I’ve never been a walker. It was always painful for me. Somehow, over the last six months, maybe the stretching routine I’ve gotten into, perhaps the weight I’ve lost, walking has become comfortable, even enjoyable. I daresay I may even have a cute bounce in my step instead of the weary old “do I have [...]
I had a moment tonight.
My best friend GayBoy (@mr_tits_pervert on Twitter) was over tonight and we were drinking, doing the Silly Thing, and I was off in the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror and I just remembered my mother and how I always thought she was so beautiful. You know, when she wasn’t wearing her [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Lifestyle, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, Twitter, weight loss
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Also tagged family, mothers and daughters, seeing yourself in a new light, struggling, success
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My plan is coming together.
Like last year, the first thing I’m doing is in-depth trying to get my home back under control.
My place has been under siege from cockroaches for a while. I’m winning, but I know they’re still around. I’ve been living in chaos because of it, though. For instance, since the start of [...]
My father is morbidly obese, and then some. He’s pushing 400 pounds. His legs are shot. His heart’s riddled with issues. There’s the stepmom’s chain-smoking, his daily dalliances with alcohol despite being told a single drink could kill him, and then there’s the ridiculous Southern diet the wife (who was a nurse for 35 years, is equally morbidly obese, smokes, is never active, and who is also diabetic with heart issues) is always cooking. How about scalloped potatoes in their house? A casserole has a half-stick of butter and a jar of Cheez Whiz. You want sour cream with that? It’s in the fridge.
If there was a textbook “how not to be diabetic” example, it’d be them.
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Lifestyle, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, weight loss
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Also tagged changing yourself, diabetes, family, health, hospitals, how to be successful, lifechange, parenthood
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I began this series last month, here’s part one. It’s pretty unstructured, but the early part of the series is focusing on the head game, because without the head game down, you’ll have no success. It’s all in the head game.
The most important thing you need to do if you want to effect serious change [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Advice, Best of Steff, General, How To Guides, Hygiene & Health, Lifestyle, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff, weight loss
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Also tagged Advice, being better, changing your life, changing yourself, depression, improving yourself, Lifestyle, smutwear, steff is dead long live steff, struggle to change
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Two piles of “fat” clothes sit in garbage bags by my front door, waiting to get donated, like the two bags I ditched last week. It’s the end of an era.
I’ve been buying clothes lately, the last two weeks. It’s been emotional hell. I’m about a size 15 now (down from 22/24), and that makes [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Advice, Hygiene & Health, Lifestyle, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, weight loss
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Also tagged body image, fat girl no more, Fat Girl No More: How I Lost 50 Pounds, improving yourself, kicking ass and taking names, overcoming weight problems, pride, self-esteem, success
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So, a Twitterer made the comment that, with the holidays almost here, the annual malaise of reflection and regret would soon be upon him. And I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be the first time ever I sit down at the end of a year and go, “Holy fuck. I accomplished THAT?””
16 months ago, I [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Advice, How To Guides, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Lifestyle, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Specifically Steff
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Also tagged Advice, being better, changing your life, changing yourself, depression, improving yourself, Lifestyle, smutwear, steff is dead long live steff, struggle to change
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I normally write mornings, but I feel really good right now. In every sense. I want to remember it now, rather than chance it ebbs away during the night.
It’s times like these I remember why I never wanted to go to bed as a child: I was very, very scared life would go on without [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in General, Humour, Hygiene & Health, Journalling
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Also tagged back pain, good times ahead, happiness, health, kicking ass and taking names, overcoming shit, party on wayne, rehabbing
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A year ago this week, I was hanging on with the grimmest, thinnest of threads, as I completed the last week on a job I probably never should have accepted.
I worked in close quarters with one of the most negative, depressing people I’ve ever known, for six long months. By the end of it, I’d [...]
Hi, kids. We haven’t had a catch-up chat for a while, have we?
I’d love to have something brilliant to write for you today. Really. I got nothing. So you can leave now if it’s profundity you seek. For you, good lasses and sirs, I offer a serving of vapidity.
See, I spent my whole weekend huffing [...]
In vino veritas.
The price of truth, it seems, runs $9.99 per 750 mils. Yum.
I’ve recently cut out my crack-like addiction to the tasty, chewy, buttery, vanilla-y Rice Krispie squares from the market down the street. That, coupled with yoga and a few more veggies in my diet as well as weight-lifting, and I’m noticing (just [...]
So, I’ve been dating more of late. Averaging one date a week these days, and it’s all right. Nobody has yet made me pitter-patter, but we’re getting better on the averages here.
My big sexual misadventure of a couple of weeks was the classic case of pulling the trigger way too soon (in more ways than [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Best of Steff, Dating, Ethics, Hygiene & Health, Journalling, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Sex, Specifically Steff
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Also tagged conundrums, Dating, having to choose, past versus present
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So, I’m doing my hump day in brilliant fashion. I’m drunk. Like, flat-out, I’m a 1/2 glass from the bottom of my bottle of Sicilian red wine. Mm, mm, good. Yeah.
What can I say? I was working on a tv show about red wine this afternoon, and I thought, “That sounds good. Sure.” So, that [...]
You can’t get to where you’re goin’ if you don’t know where you’re leavin’ from. That’s one of those truisms said a million ways by a million voices. It’s true of every one of us. Whatever our differences, that’s our commonality.
Knowing from whence you’ve come versus where it is you’re headed is one thing, but [...]
Have you ever had one of those days where you just wake up apprehensive and slightly disturbed, and you’re not sure why, other than the restless sleep filled with unsettling dreams you can’t remember?
Yeah. I had one of those sleeps last night. Fraught with the unsettled, but completely in the dark as to remembering any [...]
Yeah, I like my rock’n’roll and I can get dirty with the best of them, but I love my George Michael, and always have. Heck, my first masturbation was inspired by George more than two decades ago.
I felt like I was 13 again last week as I waited for the concert to begin, and was [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Advice, Best of Steff, Journalling, Loving and Knowing Yourself, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Sex, weight loss
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Also tagged clothes shopping, george michael, insecurities, overcoming sexual hangups, retaining water
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Anyone who’s been following my blog knows I’ve lost about 40 pounds so far this year from old-fashioned grunt work. I’ve done it all myself — no weightloss organizations, no trainers, no diet plans, no fancy workout equipment purchased, and not even having a gym membership.
Yeah, I’m proud of myself. Rightly so.
But some support along [...]
Three or four weeks ago, I had a date I’d been both excited about and worried about. He seemed like a really great, sweet guy with a big brain and a love for life, but I also knew he was overweight, and, personality wise, virtually a carbon copy of an ex I quite liked a [...]
By A Scribe Called Steff
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Posted in Being single, Best of Steff, Drugs, Hygiene & Health, Psychology & Moods, Self-Love & Self-Esteem, Society, weight loss
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Also tagged fat people, social challenges, thin people, trying to stay healthy
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I cycled to and from work for the first time in three weeks today. Three weeks today it felt like I’d blown it out a little. The next day, Thursday, I couldn’t even hold a fork. So, no cycling in three weeks, and today 24 clicks. A little kamikaze of me, yes, but that’s me [...]
